I think the locals thought we were weird when taking pictures of signs and menus.  We were reminded how sensitive language is - replace a few words with synonyms and the results end up a tad off target and usually hilarious.

 This was just before boarding a cable car in China:

 Also in China, at the Three Gorges Dam.  Billions of dollars on the project and they couldn't hire a translator for the sign every tourist sees?  Welcome to China. The guy in this photo is Miles Hilton-Barber, Blind Adventurer.  Perhaps the most amazing person I've ever met. He didn't turn over.

Concern for the relics I get, but the railings? This is from the Summer Palace near Beijing.  The railings were not relics, by the way.

At Yellow Mountain in China, this is truly an earnest request.

Don't worry, I didn't take it as a compliment, really.  From a crappy state-run hotel in Guilin, China. 

Yes, China star-rates toilets.  Seriously - it was still not great.  This is inside the Forbidden City in Beijing.

Menus offered a near-daily source of laughter. This one is from a Dim-Sum menu in Hong Kong: Minced crap (I think they mean crab)

Yes, in fact, that is a cute potatoes with butter.  Japan.

I'm just not sure what this is supposed to say. Japan. 

Even when Japanese is not translated to English, it has a completely unique style.  This is from a hiking trail in Tsuwano, Japan.  See if you can decode it...

 This was my guess:

1. Scrape the bottom of your shoe

2. Place scraped matter in your hand

3. And smoke it?

I love the design of this Japanese subway sign, seriously.

Stop using rocket shoes.  From Osaka Buffaloes Baseball game.

Baseballs hurt. From Osaka Buffaloes Baseball game.

If I could do the trip over, I would build a catalog of crosswalk signs.  They exist in every country in different forms along the same lines.  This one obviously warns people to watch out for George Washington crossing with a devil child. Japan.

No one wants to see Pac Man drunk. Waka waka waka (hiccup).  Japan.

 And finally, if you're wondering what strategies Sachi and I will employ when we combine forces in 2007, this describes it perfectly:

Without yours, our trip would not have been then same- thanks.

 I'll be posting "best of" photos soon, but for now I wanted to share a few that are not necessarily best-of, but have made an impression on some readers.

 This guy in Vietnam with all the LIVE ducks on his motorcycle (next 2 photos) seemed to strike a chord with lots of readers.  I couldn't believe how calm they seemed, considering.

Speaking of motorcycles, this is how I look when I drive. 

 Speaking of ducks, Mongkol ate this one in Cambodia.  A little too, um, mature for me.

 Speaking of eating ducks, this century egg nearly made me barf on video.

The next two photos go together too.  As our friend Jeanine pointed out, they offer an interesting juxtaposition of Russia.  The second photo is inside a Moscow subway.

 This pier in Koh Lanta, Thailand was not built for this kind of surf and as the waves approached it became rideable. It broke into pieces overnight.

 Einstein is huge in Portugal.

 On and on in a crowded elevator.

 Purchased at the China/Mongolia border, Johnny Worker was nearly the downfall of a few Tran-Siberian travelers.

 This was just before I was decapitated at a hair salon in Shanghai. I recovered fully.

 Gender bending Costume Play Kids in Japan. Sometimes cute, but in this case quite scary.

Sooo American, originally uploaded by LeeLeFever_TwinF.

Does a person really need 64 ozs of any liquid at one time?

 This morning we experienced one of the strangest, most perplexing things ever.  To give you an idea, at 7:30AM this morning, from our 6^th story bathroom window in Barcelona, I watched a guy walk across the gap between the roofs of two buildings on a wooden garden umbrella. I’m not kidding.

Let me start from the beginning.  We awoke to the sound that was something like the Tin Man from the Wizard of Oz climbing up a fire escape – all bangs and crashes.  It sounded like once he got up onto the roof (we’re on the top floor), he then dropped a bag of kindling sized wood onto the street below, 50 feet down. I rose to investigate these weird sounds.

Looking out of our bathroom window, I looked up to the roof to see the heels of a pair of feet shuffling across the very edge of the roof above me with about an inch of each foot hanging off.  I thought it might be a suicidal person.  Then, after a scuffle, an umbrella appeared right above our bedroom window.  The garden-sized umbrella stretched from the roof of our building to building next door over a small alley about 70 feet below. 

After a bit, the umbrella started to bow and tremble, obviously under significant weight.  I went to the bathroom and looked out the window again and caught eyes with the perpetrator for an instant. He was taking practice runs on the umbrella. A bit scared, I retreated to the bedroom window view, where I watched this guy walk very carefully across the umbrella to the building next door; a feat of bravery and amazing stupidity to be sure. You can see his foot and leg in this photo…

Now in plain view, he proceeded about his business with a cigarette in his mouth the entire time. This is "Roof Guy".

On the other building, he found an aluminum step ladder and proceeded to carry it up and over the terrace of the building to the other side, out of my view. He seemed to care little that he was making a HUGE scene with the ladder banging about like a wind chime.  We were both concerned that he may be trying to get into buildings and considered packing our valuables and leaving for a while.  We didn’t. 

He returned to the visible side of the building with the ladder a bit later and tried to place it in between the two buildings, perhaps to come back across to our building.  This time, as he swung the ladder out over the alley it unfolded into the A-frame position, perpendicular to the wall, much to his disway. For a while he was stuck – the ladder was caught on the edge of the building and he had no where to go as the ladder trapped him against the wall over the alley. He finally coerced and kicked at the ladder until it cooperated and I snapped this picture as he fell back over the wall with the ladder in hand. If I wasn’t a bit more freaked out I would have laughed out loud (and taken more pictures).  It was amazingly poetic. 

He was an English guy who seemed to be talking to someone the whole time.  I heard “of course they’ll call the cops”, “no cops yet” and something about “catalan drug lords”.  When a baby started crying, he said “oh screw you!”, prompting Sachi to say “… “a model citizen”.

He didn’t seem to be drunk or intent on breaking into homes. He just seemed intent on using whatever he could find to move around the roofs of the area.  He had no regard for the height of his adventures – a misstep and he would have met his end.  What he lacked in grace he made up for in confidence.

About 2 hours later the police arrived and I peered out of the bathroom window again to see them questioning him on the ground below, much to the enjoyment of everyone on the street.

 He had emptied his pockets and was pleading that he did nothing wrong.  I think he may have moved the umbrella from our roof-top terrace (which can surely be found on the neighbor’s roof now) and generally caused a scene, but I don’t think he was out to hurt anyone or take any property for himself.  He was just a weirdo climbing around on the roofs of Barcelona on a Sunday morning and I really, really wish I knew why.

Adventures with Poste Italiane, originally uploaded by LeeLeFever_TwinF.

Sending packages home is how we manage to stay light, and usually it is not a problem. China, Vietnam and many other unexpected places make it a smooth, albeit paperwork laden, operation.

In Italy, where some things are so well designed and easy, the postal system seems to be a mess - at least for the traveler.

We needed to send home about 10 lbs of items and, as usual, found the post office near the train station in Milan. After waiting for 20 minutes, they could only sell us an oversized yellow box and the basic direction of another post office where we could send it. So, with our backpacks and a giant yellow box, we walked to the other station and waited again. It looked bad. There were 6 windows all blocked by glass - no place to pass over a big box. With a help of a very friendly Italian guy, we finally communicated that we wanted to send the box to America. At this point, she looked at us like we requested an express package to the moon. Neither post office was set up for sending packages - only items that could be slid under the glass sneeze guard. I wonder how Italians send a package?

When she asked about the contents of our giant yellow box, my translator communicated that one item was pasta. She shook her head and had to look up if it was OK to send pasta to the US. I just wanted to say "We're in Italy right? Is pasta a protected item here? Is the US concerned about ecological effects foreign pasta? C'mon"

After a lot of talking in Italian, it became clear that our 10lbs of goods would cost USD 90 and about 500 dollars of pure hassle. Our translator left us with solace by saying that even for Italians, the post office is always an adventure. Fortunately for them though, they don't have to schlep around 10 extra pounds wherever they go when it doesn't work out. Maybe it'll be easier in France.

Italian Halloween, originally uploaded by LeeLeFever_TwinF.

I'm not so sure this costume would go over too well in the US. That is unless you wanted to go as a Ku Klux Klansmen, which is surely one of the worst costume ideas ever.

Our friends Kathy and Sharon have finally reached home in the UK after 420 days, 60 weeks and 60,000 miles and 50 countries.  In a recent post they were concerned about "reverse culture shock" from coming home and suggest these treatments (edited for length):

... brushing teeth out of a cup; drinking warm water out of large bottles; mixing up tuna mayonnaise in the tin and continue to use plastic plates and share cutlery; hide money upon our persons; wear clothing with lots of pockets; take photos of random images and people in the street; dry ourselves using our travel towels; not use a hair dryer; hand wash underwear each night; wash up any cooking utensils before eating a hot meal; buy a bus ticket & see where it takes you; talk to strangers and ask them how long they have been travelling for;  sleep in a bunk bed with ear plugs in; etc.

 These totally identify with us and we have a few additions:

We may continue to...

• Shower with flip-flops or sandals
• Share deodorant
• Never plan for more than a week into the future
• Wash laundry in the sink
• Communicate using the metric system
• Wear a shirt too many times before a wash 
• Randomly give shopkeepers incorrect change
• Communicate in only "hello", "yes" and "thank you"
• Blog and video everything

And finally... continue to use only three pairs of underwear. 

I knew it would be interesting at least- a standup/improv comedy troupe called Boom Chicago doing a show called "Me, MySpace and iPod".  As it turned out, it was completely up my alley and I was very impressed.

It was the first I had seen a comedy routine integrated with technology and social networking - something very close to my job when I'm not traveling. 

For instance, they asked the audience who had a page on MySpace.com and someone was chosen for the skit. They went to the live site during the show to check out the guy's page and asked him about some friends on his friend's list.  Then, later in the show they did a whole routine that brought his MySpace friends to life based on his descriptions.  So freaking funny - and for the skit to work every night they have to find someone in the audience with a MySpace page - in Amsterdam. This goes to show how huge MySpace is.

They also did a skit based on Wikipedia, which is an online encyclopedia that a very large community of people manage by editing pages.  Wikipedia works, but is also famous for disagreements about how an entry should be written.  In the skit, they ask for an object, in this case a pineapple and they take turns describing it in encyclopedic style.  When one performer disagrees, they yell "EDIT!" and it becomes their turn to create the "real" definition.  Wiki-based humor, wow.

Being that we are in Amsterdam, they also parodied Anne Frank and showed a YouTube style video blog that was done by Anne Frank back on the 1940's [watch the video].  It was a take-off of the now-famous LonelyGirl15 on You Tube.

I was in awe. It was funny yes, but what really blew me away was that these websites and ideas were too geeky for prime time only a couple of years ago and now, suddenly, it is mainstream enough to become fodder for an entire comedy show.  If I was running a technology conference, I would hire Boom Chicago in a second.

 On a personal level, we have met wonderful people in Russia.  From our guides to our homestay hosts to friends like Lilia, Diana and Olga.  However, there is an element of the Russian experience that leaves me cold:  customer service.  The handbook below is dedicated to our not-so-wonderful adventures with Russian customer service people.

The Russian Customer Service Handbook

As a person who is about to enter the customer service industry in Russia, it is important to understand the environment in which you will work.  The points below should be followed without exception.

• Under no circumstances should you smile or laugh.
• When someone approaches you seeking help, feel free to ignore them for as long as possible.  Finish what you are doing first and quickly look for other items to make you appear busy.
• If they speak a language you don't understand, the most effective response is to roll your eyes and sigh while turning away.
• Do not greet a customer or recognize their presence until they demand your attention. 
• A cold scowl is the standard facial expression- use it effectively.
• When a transaction is complete, slide the money to the customer and walk away.  "thank-yous" are not recommended.
• As you are completing a transaction, ask yourself "Am I being as efficient as possible?" If so, slow down or stop completely.  Efficiency only matters to the customer.
• If your friend calls your mobile phone while you work, by all means answer it and do your best to complete the transaction while talking.
• Eye contact should only happen by accident.  Try your best to make the customer feel as if they are inhuman, like a robot.
• Remember that foreigners are a nuisance and should be treated as such.  They deserve no special treatment whatsoever.
• Because foreigners have not taken the time to learn the Russian language, their method of pointing and gesturing to communicate should be viewed with contempt.  Remember: ROLL THE EYES - it is the perfect response.
• Foreigners do not understand how to deal with money and never provide exact change.  When this happens, raise your voice a bit and hope that someone else can translate.
• If a foreigner cannot provide exact change, snatch the money from their hand with an aggressive motion.  After you've gone to all the trouble to make change, slap it onto the counter forcefully and walk away.  Perhaps, over time, they will understand.

If you should have any questions or concerns about this handbook, please don't contact me.

~Your Russian Customer Service Manager

 I have a bad attitude sometimes, particularly regarding sightseeing and the tourist experience.  It’s a necessary and often rewarding part of the trip, but we’re both learning that we don’t really like sightseeing.  It often seems like the many of the things we see are significant because someone with dollars in their eyes decided to make it significant.  Either that, or the significance that is experienced by others is lost on me.

Maybe I am shallow or cynical or unsophisticated, but I will be just fine if I don’t see another “important” image of The Buddha for many years.  The same is true for many temples.  Long before we reached China, we started to recognize that we rarely leave a temple saying “that was so great!”  or “I’m so glad we came!”  Usually it’s more like “Hmm, another temple.” We call it temple fatigue.

Another example occurred just today at the Summer Palace in Beijing, which is, by all accounts, an impressive sight of imperial grandeur.  Inside the palace grounds (and also in the Forbidden City) there are very important rocks with names like the “Blue Iris Stone” which are accompanied by a story of an who emperor found the rock and had it shipped to the Palace at great expense.  So there it sits, surrounded by a railing and sitting on a pedestal – a rock.  It’s not sculpted, it’s not shaped, it has never been used for anything or changed in any way, it may be in the shape of something recognizable and is certainly a rockish, yellow/gray hue (despite being described as “black and sleek”).  There is no doubt that it is a rock that someone could have found at any moment in history and is one of about 1 gazillion such rocks in the world. To the admittedly undereducated like myself, it appears just as it sounds – a rock – on a pedestal - surrounded by a railing.   I’m not sure how a rock becomes an item of Chinese culture, but many have and people quite literally line up to have their picture taken in front of it.

(photo of the Blue Iris Stone is from this travelouge)  

I have to wonder though, am I being cynical and shallow or am I being realistic?  We’ve seen it happen before in tour groups – the guide makes a big hairy deal about something and the group eats it up and prepares the cameras without thought.  This is where the tourist experience blends a little too closely with dollar signs.  Tour groups need sights and the more the tourist is convinced that they are seeing something significant, the more likely they’ll actually find some significance.  So, from my perspective, a strong percentage of what a tourist sees is filler – something to make the tourist feel like they are having a great experience in between the things that are really impressive and important to them.  I think this gets to the heart of why I loath tour groups – too much filler and not enough time to independently figure out what is significant to me.

The tour guide is very in tune with photo taking opportunities as well. He has surely observed the hoards take pictures of a sight and assumes that everyone should have one – including me. Sometimes I snap a quick picture just to make friends but at the same time I’m thinking “If you really want to know what I want to take a picture of, it’s the grotesque and barely alive condition of your toenails, Mr. Tour Guide.”

It reminds me of Las Vegas and seeing people very excited to take a picture of a replica of Michael Angelo’s masterpiece “David” at Caesar’s Palace.  I just want to say to them “That is not art you know, it is not historically significant, it is a piece of plaster put here for decoration alone.” But it doesn’t matter, they think it’s great and who am I to judge?

All this is leading to the realization that I don’t like sightseeing.  I yearn for reality or a historical and observable connection to the reality of a city or country. Modern history is endlessly fascinating.  The spread of Communism in Asia, Mao Zedong, Pol Pol, Ho Chi Minh… I cannot learn enough about that part of history.  Anything before about 1900 becomes somewhat opaque to me.  I can’t see as much reality in it or how it is affecting a country now.  What really does it for me is learning the modern realities of a place – the politics, the social issues, the transportation system, food, what locals do, say and wear day-to-day.  For me, this is endlessly real and represents something that I can grasp in my view of the world. Rocks and temples?  Not so much.

I will gladly continue to see sights and learn about history, but I’ll do it recognizing that there is a curiously real, entertaining and interesting aspect of tourism and tourists that can be quite rewarding to observe, even if the sights are not.